A Day To Remember

Today, I reflect back to a shy, stubborn 11 year old girl... at summer camp in San Diego.

Sitting in the chapel for the evening service, I was wound up tight knowing that this was the last service before camp ended.

Every other night at the end of the service I always found some excuse not to go pray like all the other kids did. It wasn't that I didn't want to, because inside I was burning with the desire to know Jesus, but I was embarrassed and nervous and afraid of the unknown.

The end of the service neared and I made up my mind that if someone asked me to go down to the front to pray, I'd go. I could feel the tears in my throat as I anticipated what would happen next.

How I got to the altar is a blur to me now, but there I was, tears streaming down my face, my hands in the air, pouring my heart out to God. After praying for a little while, I started to feel that determination rise up in me. I wasn't going to leave that altar until I got what I needed. My cousin Eileen was crying her eyes out... she knew that this was an enormous step for me, the shy, timid one.

Then, my life changed forever. I could feel the burden lifting off of me, (even at 11 years old, I knew that I was a sinner and that I needed salvation) I could feel a wave of peace and relief and joy sweep over me. People were clapping and rejoicing, I couldn't stop praying, it was incredible. God filled me with His spirit that night, August 6, 1987. I could hear myself speaking in a heavenly language and a part of me stepped back and felt in awe of this momentous occasion.

Later that night at the snack bar, hanging out with my friends, and trying to catch my summer camp boy crush's eye (lol), my mind was somewhere else, I couldn't stop smiling. I did it. I finally did it. No more cringing when the wave of conviction would come over me. No more trying to disappear when I knew someone would ask me to pray. I crossed over to the "other side" ... that's how I viewed it.

The next day, the buses all headed out to take us home. Back to Orange County (about a 2 1/2 hour drive). All the way there, I plotted on how I'd tell my parents. I knew that this was something they had wanted for me for a long time. They never pushed me, but I still knew that this was their biggest wish for me. My dad came to pick Eileen and I up at the church and all of a sudden I got shy. How do I tell him? Do I blurt it out? Do I say GUESS WHAT?! I was at a loss for words. Luckily, Eileen has never been shy to speak up, so she started telling my dad and prodded me to tell him my big news. My dad's face lit up with the biggest grin. Luckily, since we were around a lot of people, he spared me any other bursts of emotion. Whew, one down, one to go.

My mom.

Oh boy. I didn't want any more emotional outbursts. I was emotional enough still from my experience. I was at that age where emotion made me uncomfortable. But I knew my mom wouldn't be able to help herself. I got home and walked in the house. My mom was doing dishes in the kitchen and I walked in, deciding to just get it over with.. ha ha ha (I was the kind of 11 year old that embarrassed easily!)

My mom literally threw her dish towel down and danced around the whole kitchen. (I'm talking a dance-like-David-danced type of dance) She managed to use up the whole kitchen floor as her dance floor.

Of course I was embarrassed, but also, I felt so good that my parents understood just how wonderful this was for me. My mom cried and called me her baby and hugged and kissed me until I had had enough.

Three days later at our church I was baptized in Jesus name, and I haven't looked back since.

Despite my ups and downs, mountain tops and valleys, this is the best life I could possibly have. 21 years of living for and with God... and this is just the beginning....

Happy Birthday to Me! and Thank You Jesus!!!

The Queen...