Let's face it. Life never goes according to plan. I've come to realize that no matter how hard I plan something out on paper, the end result usually only has a vague resemblance to the image I pictured when I started out.
Take my LIFE for instance. Boy, have things really not gone the way I had imagined them to go. I started planning my wedding when I was 13 years old. I subscribed to Modern Bride and meticulously tore out my "favorites". I still have a few of those pages tucked in a binder and let me tell you, those 80's shoulder pads will NEVER be stylish in my eyes again. (please, oh please don't bring them back... please...!) The gaudy beading and lace and rhinestones and puffy mutton legged sleeves. Hilarious. I had my songs picked out (a little vintage Michael Bolton anyone?). I had my colors picked out. Even my menu was carefully selected and written down.
Needless to say. None of those items happened. No shoulder pads, no mutton legs, no peach cobbler served in a martini glass.
No wedding. (and it's now 20 years later.)
Okay, so what.
I didn't combust or explode or die a slow, romantic, lonely, painful death from a broken heart. Luckily, the longing is a slight whisper now, instead of this nagging bullhorn in my ear.
So, I had always thought I would be a young mother and a housewife. Well, with no man in sight, those ideas never left the page either.
Okay, so career. I thought, hmmm. Maybe, I'll be a teacher or a boutique owner or a musician.
ixNay on the areerCay... Those didn't really happen either.
Yes, I did teach briefly (realizing, a teacher's salary works best when it's a secondary income.. but hellloooo... no man, no primary income to fall back on!), and I do play the piano and sing - (my piano playing is all smoke and mirrors).
Oy Vey! Sounds too depressing... moving on quickly now...
Now, on to the unexpected. Yes, life is not what I planned it out to be. I'd be lying if I said with extreme enthusiam, "It's Way Better!!!!".
But I can confidently say, life is good.
The aspects of my life that are unplanned, make life worth living and oh so much more interesting. I never expected to go from a shy timid girl to working on starring in a tv show. Or to have actually made it to a recording studio, or produce a short film, or head up a ministry at church, or to have authored my own line of children's lesson series. I never expected to find my best friends right under my nose. Who knew these three bratty, annoying, much younger siblings would be the best part of my life? I never expected to find out what an awesome person I really am. Who knew I had such a killer personality? I didn't! LOL!!! I never expected to be independent and strong. (remember, my plan was to rely on someone forever.) I never expected to experience life in such an interesting, broad manner. I never expected to be fearless or to leave the secure emotional bubble I lived in.
Mostly, I never expected to be content with whatever life brings me. (ALMOST completely content...)
None of these surprises would have happened if I had sailed the course I had charted for myself... the life I love right now wouldn't exist.
So, lesson learned.
I'm a natural planner, so it's so difficult for me to sit back and let go of the control I so desparately want to maintain. However, as I struggle on, I do so with a smile, because who knows what could be "just around the riverbend?" (thanks for that line Disney!) There is something always just over the horizon, and I found out that my job isn't to place that "something" there, or map out the course to get to it. I've just got to put one foot in front of the other, no pen and paper, no lists, just Faith.
When, I finally let go and just live, Life is Beautiful.
Let's face it, the unexpected parts of life are the times we are truly alive...
Food for Thought~