Friday, February 29, 2008

Short and Sweet

I won't get this chance for 4 more years... so...

Happy Leap Day!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Private Parts

Okay, I know the title is throwing some of you, but let me 'splain. ha ha ha.

Yesterday at work, I had a good giggle over this incident.

Usually work is, well work. It's structured and mundane and unless Deb (who I also work with) is doing, saying or acting out something funny, there's not much to crack up about.

Most importantly, there are all adults in the workplace.

Well not so yesterday.

The owners of the business are husband and wife. And from time to time they will have friends or family pop in for a visit. Well yesterday, their neice, nephew and 8 year old great-nephew (great? grand-nephew? who knows.....) came in for a quick visit.

I have a small office in the back of the suite and I'll usually listen for a moment to see who it is and then continue working. So I just dismissed them as uninteresting and continued working.

A little while later, my boss walks by with the boy and I can cleary hear their conversation... it went a little like this:

Fred: Hey, let's go back here and get you a cup okay.

Boy: Okay! Hey! Did you know that there are two kinds of cups?! (he had that excited tone in his voice that all eight year olds have.)

Fred: Really?

Boy: Yep! One cup you drink out of, and the other cup, the other cup is for baseball, you know for baseball... so your, your TALLYWACKER doesn't get hurt!!

Fred: Uh-huh, uh okay, yeah, your, uh, private parts right?

Boy: Yeah!

Fred mumbled a couple of things in agreement, grabbed a cup and started to hurry the boy out of the supply closet.

I sat in my office in plain view of both of them, so I had to hold it together for a minute or two. After the boy (who I just found out his name is Ryan) ran back down the hall, my boss followed more slowly. I looked up, he looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, like, what are ya gonna do?, and that's when I lost it. I covered my mouth to muffle my burst of laughter. Throughout the day, I'd hear it in my head again, and the giggles would just bubble out.

Seriously, how many people can say they've ever heard the word tallywacker in the office place? It was definitely my first time.

Queen C

Thursday, February 14, 2008

SURVIVING VDAY - A Single Girl's Survival Kit

VDay Survival Kit includes:

1 Ray of hope that someone will send you a valentine

1 Mask of indifference as you watch your coworkers squeal over flower deliveries

1 Smile of tolerance as you hear everyone's dinner plans

1 Friend who's even more pathetic than you, which in turn makes you feel a bit better

1 Hundred pounds of Ghirardelli Chocolate Caramel Squares

1 Sappy Romantic movie to live vicariously through

1 CD of songs about jilted lovers

1 Smokin' outfit

1 Camera to capture all the bliss

1 Thought of denial that you even care what day it is

and last but not least....

1 Match to burn this ridiculous survival kit so you can move on and count your blessings

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY FRIENDS.... May you all own that perfect pair of high heeled shoes, may you eat all the chocolate you want and give the calories away and may you have the absolutely perfect pair of rose colored glasses to look through today!

The Queen

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Deb's Ramblings

My sister Deb is very interesting to say the least.

She is almost 8 years younger than me and a middle(ish) child.

Everyone says that each family has that one strongwilled child, well, Deb is ours. Ha ha ha. Of course, she is no longer a child, but a beautiful 24 year old woman. But the strongwillness (if that's even a word) has not ebated.

She's pretty quirky, our Deb. She sometimes marches to the beat of her own drum and sincerely finds herself to be very entertaining. She loves the smell of manure, can speak a very convincing "fake" Spanish and still ties bows using the "bunny ear" method.

But the best, most interesting, unique thing about Deb happens when she's asleep. Pretty much our whole family talks in our sleep. All 7 of us. I think. My dad has even been known to walk in his sleep. My mom and my brother pray in their sleep (literally!) and even my sister-in-law has said a word or two or three while sleeping. And yes, I've woken myself up many times rambling on about nonsense. But Deb has taken this to a whole new level.

When Deb talks in her sleep, there are props, storylines, arguments, laughter, yelling and movement. And she looks and acts just like she's awake. Usually after interacting with the sleeping Deb, I can't wait to tell her the next day, because it's so funny. Now I know some of you may be thinking, Oh My Word, that's SO SCARY! Ha ha ha. Well, since she's done it her whole life, it seems normal and actually funny, not scary at all.

Some of Deb's most memorable "talk times" where when she decided that the striped wallpaper by her bed was actually a board game and she proceeded to tell me how to play. She was looking at the wall and using her finger to point out the different areas on the wall that she imagined to be the game board. oy vey. Or the time she walked over to my stereo, picked up a cassette tape (yes, this was back in the days of cassette tapes!) and did the whole "bottoms up" motion like she was drinking out of a shot glass, complete with loud gulps as the "water" went down her throat. Ha ha ha! Or even more recently, she got up in the middle of the night and started going through some dress shirts, yelling and carrying on that my brother took some shoes and shirts out of the room. She was so mad at my brother I could almost see smoke coming out of her ears. (Actually now that I think of it, Deb would make an excellent cartoon character!)

Through the years, Deb has done some hilarious things. She's woken me up to hand me a glass of water. She's announced that my sister-in-law was releasing a record, she's constantly yelling at my brother, and she'll hold imaginary items in her hand and inspect them and ask how they got there.

Of course, each time I encounter the sleeping Deb, I immediately dismiss her by saying, "Deb, your talking in your sleep again", at which point that strongwilled part of her quickly glares at me and says, "NO I'M NOT!"

Sleeping Deb is actually pretty entertaining....

Queen C.

Monday, February 04, 2008

To See or not to See... that is the Question...

Proverbs 29:18a - Where there is no vision, the people perish:

My church is in the process of moving into an newly purchased building (Only by the hand of God!!!) and yesterday, we were "homeless" so to speak. So, my pastor set up an online connection to speak to all of us last night. During his message he read this poem, and I was so inspired by it, I had to post it on my blog. This is in no way to detract from anything else he said. There were such words of faith, that I was stirred in my soul. If you need a pick-me-up this is the message for you! If you are interested to hear his message you can go to:

In the meantime, enjoy this poem!

I Am A Person Of Vision
By Mark Jordan

I’ve Been A Pew Warmer, A Fence Walker, A Spectator For Too Long
I’m Getting Up, Getting Right And Getting Going
I May Not See The Entire Picture, But I Do See The Picture
I Can’t Try Everything, But I Might As Well Try Something
I May Fail Trying, But I Won’t Fail To Try
I May Not Make Much Of My Investment, But I Won’t Bury My Talents In The Ground
I Will Act, Though I Receive No Thanks In Return
I Will Pray And Leave The Answer To God
I Will Witness And Leave The Response Up To The Person
I Will Smile Even Though No One Smiles Back
I Will Give Because It’s Right, Not Because I Expect Something In Exchange For What I Give
I’m Blood Bought, Word Taught, Miraculously Wrought
I Am Divinely Created, Spirit Filled, God Called And Heaven Sent
I’m Saved By Grace, Programmed To Succeed, Wired For Power And Mission Oriented
God Is My Commander-In-Chief, Christ Is My Savior, The Pastor’s My Coach, The Bible’s My Blueprint, The Holy Ghost Is My Guide, The World Is My Mission
I Will Be Immune To Criticism
Unbowed By Critics, Unmoved By Suffering, Unashamed Of The Gospel
I Will Obey Like Noah
Sacrifice Like Abraham
Fight Like David
Pray Like Daniel
Be Patient Like Job
And See God’s Greatness Like Isaiah
I’ll Even Weep Like Jeremiah
But I’ll Preach Like Peter
And I’ll Reach Out Like Paul
I Have Nothing Greater To Live For, And Nothing Better To Die For
For I Am A Person Of Vision!

The Q

Friday, February 01, 2008

Leap Year

Happy February 1st.

It's that leap time of the year. Ha ha ha. What better time than now to leap into something that you've been standing at the edge of? A little incentive to give you that final push. Even time is suggesting for us to "leap". And this opportunity only comes once every 4 years.

Leaping takes decisiveness. yikes. I am the worst when it comes to making a quick decision. I hate picking the restaurant we are going to eat at. I hate trying to decide on what kind of body wash to buy at the store. Give me more than 2 options and I'll stare blankly at them for a good 5 minutes, calculating all the pros and cons of each product.

Sure, I can make a decision after much pondering and calculated thought, but leaping? No, that is definitely not my strong suit.

My mother loves frogs. When I say love, I mean love. No, not the real, slimy, sit on big lily pads, disect in junior high things.... but figurines and on stationary, candleholder, windchime frogs. Ha ha ha. you know what I mean. She has some really cute stuff and I always marvelled at the fact that she picked the frog to love.

But now that I think about it, she may be even wiser than I thought. Loving a frog gives you the outlook of moving forward and leaping out into the unknown. Sometimes we need to leap before we look. Isn't that what faith is all about?

So what are we waiting for? Whether it's job related, personal, financial, spiritual, emotional. We are all standing at the edge of something, maybe even sticking a big toe out every once in a while to test the waters, so to speak.

I want to leap.
I want to forget all danger and risks.
I want to disregard critizism and naysayers.
I want to focus on Christ in me, not on my own abilities.
I want to be free.

Care to join me?

Matthew 6:33-34
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Food for thought!
The Queen