Can I Tell You A Secret?

So, I try to keep as far away from teenage drama and angst and growing pains and all that for the sake of not dredging up all the embarrassing memories that come with it. However, last night, I was once again reminded as to why I'm so happy to have left those years far behind. Granted, there are days and moments that I realize some things just never change... but this is one story that can stay in the teenage years.

Okay so, let's start at the very beginning...
Only the names have been changed to protect
the daft corny person who this story is about!
LOL.

Last night I was sitting in our bonus room watching the Thanksgiving Iron Chef showdown and kind of dozing in and out of sleep. (it was well after midnight at this point...) I felt so cozy and comfy in my fuzzy robe with visions of a Thanksgiving feast before my eyes.

Someone, male, 17 years old... let's call him Bill, was in the family room talking on the phone and playing music on his laptop.

For a long time.

It was obvious he was talking to a girl, and every now and again I could hear snippets of his conversation at which point I'd shush him and tell him he was too loud. (Hello, Iron Chef's are battling here... way more important than a teenager's phone conversation!)

I really started to sink into dreamland when I was awakened by movement. I think Bill had gotten up and was either in the kitchen or bathroom or something, but my eyes were closed so I couldn't be sure. Then I heard it...
"Can I tell you a secret?" WHAT?! ha ha ha... I was a bit more awake when he said it again..."Can I tell you a secret?" Great. Now I was easedropping unintentionally (the worse kind of easedropping!). But what was I to do. I groggily tried to register what Bill was saying to this mystery girl.

I don't think she could hear him to well either because he had to repeat himself again.

"Can I tell you a secret?" *long pause* "I like you." *embarrassed chuckle*

Awwwww. Bill usually plays the suave 17 going on 37 type of guy. To hear him be so vulnerable and embarrassed was... disconcerting and weird. An uncomfortable squirm went through me. I shouldn't be hearing this. Yet, it was a car wreck... now I had to know who he was talking to.

I contemplated getting up to go to bed, but the couch was so comfy and plus it was such an akward moment for Bill, that I felt glued in place. I must have dozed a bit more. Then Bill's music came on again and I was once again easedropping on this uncomfortable teenage conversation.

Bill: "So, I know this girl... her name starts with a P. She is very nice, has beautiful eyes, is kind of masculine, but not too much (okay at this point I think that's what I heard (the masculine part) but, please God I hope I just didn't hear right!), she is amazing, unlike any girl I've ever known... Do you know anyone like that? Do you know who this chick is that I'm talking about? Yeah her name is Prudy. You know her?"

(uh, it was obvious he was talking to Prudy about Prudy...)

More chuckles and low laughs. More "what"s and "huh?"s. (Seriously, I think they need to invest in a hearing aid or two. Or, maybe they thought what the other person was saying was too good to be true and they wanted to hear it again just to make sure. Bill sure was repeating himself a lot I noticed.)

Then silence. (man that girl sure can talk a lot.) Then Bill says, "Oh she's more than interesting, she's, she's, she's, ..... well, she's like a diamond. Beautiful and sparkling in every way." (this was said very smugly, like... "yeah, she's hooked now....)

(It reminded ME of Mary Poppins.

"Simply Perfect in Every Way." CORNY.)

Okay. That did it. It was too painful to listen to any more of this corny business. I was wide awake now and my pillows were calling for me. I got up, turned everything off and walked past Bill to go down the hall. He waved and said goodnight to me and looked a little startled. (I bet he forgot I was there.) I reminded him of how late it was and he shooed me away with a flick of his wrist. As I exited the room a looked back and said... "Say hello to Prudy for me."

And I marched off to bed shaking my head ... teenagers. LOL.



So now I'm contemplating...
What I really want to do so badly is when I get home from work, walk right up to Bill and with a very serious face ask him...

"Can I Tell You A Secret?"




hmmm. I just might have to do that.
Too good of an opportunity to miss...
The Queen.